Relationship Renewed : Renovating the Relationships That Matter Most

Love is a Choice

Van Halen asked the question, “How do I know when it’s love?” and it’s a question that we all have asked at one point or another.

I remember a college roommate who had no time for relationships because he was too busy. Then he met HER and everything changed. I recall a conversation where he said that love “made trees greener and skies bluer.”

There is euphoria with new love. When I met Jennifer I would do anything to spend a few extra minutes with her. I’d even go to the craft store just to be around her. 19 years later – I’d rather eat a tree than go to the craft store.

What happens when those feelings of excitement fade?

In my early years, I would bail when the feelings faded. I would spend months in the pursuit, and as soon as things got real, I’d leave.

I equated love with that feeling of euphoric bliss. Once it disappeared I did also.

Love was a high … until it wasn’t.

and then there’s Jennifer! She came into my life and turned it upside down. She was full of fire and light. Life was amazing – we dated – we got engaged – we got married – and had kids, and then it got hard.

I was full of brokenness and despair and I wanted out.

and she patiently persisted and prayed. and even in the ugliness, love won!

There’s a lot more to that story – but here’s what I learned at that moment:

Love is not a feeling. Love is a choice that you make daily.

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